I’m dreaming of a bike-related Christmas

I assume it’s fairly obvious, from just about every conversation I ever have, that cycling is what I’m interested in (to the exclusion of just about everything else I can get away with excluding). Even my wife might struggle to come up with three or four other genuine interests which aren’t related to life on two wheels.

I’m almost a parody of a cycling fan, so one-dimensional is my range of interests.

bike christmas
Christmas bike (Image: Joe Penniston via Flickr cc)

So if someone was moved to buy me a Christmas present it would make sense to stick to the cycling theme. If I were getting myself a present I would struggle to buy something non-cycling related that wouldn’t cause me to shrug with indifference, so where would anyone else start?

But as Christmas day approaches – and I don’t mean to sound ungrateful here – I can see presents under the tree of a suspicious shape and size? Why do I get the feeling that there might be clothing in there which isn’t bike specific, and food which isn’t sports nutrition, and books which make no mention whatsoever of heart rate, VO2 Max, or cadence?

I know my friends and family love me but they’ve got a funny way of showing it.

Don’t get the wrong idea; I’m not suggesting people buy me presents, and I don’t have some grasping need to accumulate new stuff in the annual consume-a-thon that we call Christmas, I’m just trying to make this a simple and happy process for everyone. If you’re spending £50 on me anyway, why not make it a Café du Cycliste base layer or a This-is-Cambridge winter casquette ?

zero7
Wilier Zero 7…ambitious (Image: Glory Cycles via Flickr cc)

My Christmas wish list begins at a (somewhat ambitious) Wilier Zero 7 (£4,000) and works its way through POC sunglasses (£200) and Chpt. iii short sleeved jersey (£190 – still ambitious) and goes all the way down to Arundel Bottle Cage (£40), and the truly functional but undoubtedly delicious Torq rhubarb and custard flavoured energy gel (£1.80 each – more realistic).

There’s something for everyone’s budget.

I had pictured myself sitting down to Christmas dinner this year in my festive Castelli Gabba (£110) and Isadore Neck Warmer (£20) opening the wine with my Campagnolo corkscrew (£170), and drinking after dinner coffee from my Rapha espresso cups (£40).

I fear this may be a pipe dream.

Ventoux red
Ventoux red (Image: http://www.ragtimecyclist.com)

Sure, I probably wouldn’t really be making full use of the wind and water resistant properties of a Castelli Gabba whilst eating my Christmas dinner, and I don’t really need the mechanical precision of a Campagnolo corkscrew to open my bottle of Christmas Mont Ventoux red (£7.50), but we’re talking about an ideal world here.

(Just to be clear, I have no need whatsoever of a Shimano corkscrew. Or SRAM, obviously.)

But on reflection, in the cold light of day, I think I know exactly why people spend their hard earned money on things which have no cycling specific application. It is often pointed out that if I want something cycling related then I just buy it anyway (within reason), so maybe buying me presents isn’t easy after all.

We’ll both stand there as I unwrap it and my face will drop ever so slightly because it will be a good effort, but not quite right. I’ll be disappointed, and you’ll think I’m ungrateful, and you’ll decide right there on the spot to just go back to buying me alcohol and be done with it

You know what, just give me an envelope of cash and I’ll do the leg work.

Advertisements

8 comments

      • Yes, it’s pretty good – I’ve got several jerseys – the thermal ones are excellent, as is their gilet. Just tried out their long-sleeved merino undershirt – excellent. Their sizings are ok but always tighter rather than looser. I don’t mind that now having got down to 78 kgs for 1m89 – helps getting up those cols. Went out with the Breton butcher yesterday and did 800ms of elevation in 40 kms – and that’s just in our valley …

        Like

  1. I definitely know other people like you…impossible to buy gifts for because they already usually buy what they wanted in their favorite hobby 🙂 I’m a knitter, so I’m easy to buy for because more needles, yarn and accessories are always welcome, lol

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s