For sheer, terrifying excitement, riding through thick fog in the dark is tough to beat.
On a recent Wednesday evening group ride, myself and six other idiots decided that fog was not a weather condition to worry about unduly.
Wind, freezing temperatures, and rain are the cyclists enemy. Fog is novelty weather. We never change our behaviour for a spot of fog.
We pointed ourselves in the direction of the coast of northern Lancashire and took our chances.
The fact was, we had a table booked at the local pub. We had plans to sit in polite company in our skin tight cycling kit and pretend that other diners were neither offended, appalled, nor embarrassed by our appearance as we ate festive food and drank IPA.
On that score, it was mission accomplished.
And as it turns out, festive food tastes better when preceded by a risky game of blind cycling fuelled by hunger and peer pressure.
Not even the combined might of the several thousand lumens attached to our bikes could help.
In fact, if anything, it hindered. Our lights simply lit up the sea of swirling fog, without penetrating it, and left us unable to see in quite a bright and dramatic way, rather than unable to see in quite a dark and spooky way.
Fortunately, a couple of our group are in their twenties. They possess not only the sharp and unsullied eyeballs of the young, but also the lack of imagination required to ride blindly in to a bank of fog on a country lane.
They led, the rest of us latched on, and we all reached the pub in one piece.
Moisture clinging to facial hair, a ripple of nervous laughter, and ready and willing to scar the minds of our fellow diners with our evening wear.
After three or four pints you’ll be happy to hear that we hopped on the local train and clattered home that way. Being a UK train we half wondered if it would be cancelled due to fog on the line; luckily, this must have been one of those modern, fog-proof trains.
Cycling, through thick fog, in the dark, half-pissed, would definitely have been one element of jeopardy too many.
Even for a bunch of idiots.
(Image: via pixabay)